


someone please save yuri plisetsky

by thishasbeencary



Series: st. petersburg saga [3]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-28
Updated: 2017-02-28
Packaged: 2018-09-27 10:41:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10012931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thishasbeencary/pseuds/thishasbeencary
Summary: It took all of two weeks for Yuuri living with Viktor to piss Yuri off. Well, actually, no, that was a lie. It took less than a day for them to become annoying, it took two weeks for Yuri to realize that they weren't going to stop being annoying. That didn't stop him from texting Otabek every time they did something especially ridiculous.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Alternate title: Otabek Altin is the voice of reason in this family  
> Alternate Alternate Title: Yuri Plisetsky: repeat double (and worse) text offender  
> Alternate Alternate Alternate Title: Yuri Plisetsky pretends he doesn't love his dads and doesn't want their attention. Otabek Altin knows truth.  
> Alternate Alternate Alternate Alternate Title: Otabek Altin really wants to know why Yuri Plisetsky has a room in Viktor Nikiforov's apartment
> 
> What a "surprise", Yurio's section managed to be longest.
> 
> The block-quotes are Yuri/Otabek's texts, labeled whether they're to or from (because Otabek texts back unlike the rest of these losers). (@ Yurio: for god's sake, kid, pick one name for Yuuri)
> 
> Thanks so much for all of the comments and kudos and bookmarks on the first two parts of this series, I'm blown away by how wonderful you all are <3
> 
> Hit me up on tumblr at [yoyoplisetsky](https://yoyoplisetsky.tumblr.com/) (yoi side blog) or [cary-onmywaywardson](https://cary-onmywaywardson.tumblr.com/).

Only a week after the Grand Prix Final, they were back on the rink in full swing to prepare for the rest of the season. The high of the gold medal still hadn't worn off of Yuri Plisetsky, and, honestly, nothing would take that excitement away from him. He'd proven himself to the world, and now here he was, ready to continue, and to be better than Viktor Nikiforov ever dreamed to be. Really, it was the perfect plan: gold at Nationals, gold at Europeans, gold at Worlds, and then repeat.

Well, it would be the perfect plan, if a certain Russian skater with silver hair and the most annoying personality Yuri had had the opportunity to encounter didn't plan on returning to Russia and returning to _skating_. Honestly, what was the old man even thinking?

Yuri was long over that little detail of his life: Whatever, he could beat Viktor. The real problem was _apparently_ , Yakov was going to train Viktor again (even though that was _dumb_ , because Viktor had left Yakov for _Japan_ with no notice and just gets taken back in with no punishment). And that meant that Viktor had to come back to Russia.

And Viktor was attached at the hip to Japan's ace, which meant that Yuuri Katsuki had to come to Russia too. Apparently. Because Viktor "had to coach him". Whatever. Viktor just wanted his precious fiancé to move in with him and gave an excuse that would let Yakov let them both train on the rink.

Whatever. If they were together, they would keep out of Yuri's space, and hopefully be incredibly annoying _somewhere else_. Of course, he might have to spend less time at Viktor's apartment, but that was a loss he was happy to take if it meant that Viktor and Yuuri would be out of his hair when it came to training.

Unfortunately, Viktor was completely unprepared to return to figure skating, and Yakov knew that. And Katsuki was completely unprepared to move to Russia (and at least was aware of that himself, didn't need to be told his own problems unlike _some people_. Some people being Viktor. Yuri wasn't afraid to name names).

Having become quick friends after the Grand Prix Final, Yuri knew exactly who he could text the terrible fate that he had to undergo for the next two weeks. _Two weeks._ Honestly, what was Yakov thinking? Clearly, he hadn't spent as much time around them as Yuri had, because he knew already: Yakov had made a mistake. Viktor would be an endless pain in his ass (more than usual) until Katsuki showed up.

 

> to otabek: viktor is coming back without pork cutlet bowl
> 
> to otabek: he's going to be horrible why did yakov make him do this
> 
> from otabek: I thought you were friends with Viktor?
> 
> to otabek: don't be ridiculous
> 
> to otabek: ugh, i have to pick him up at the airport
> 
> from otabek: I thought Yakov would?

Otabek's text didn't deserve a response, because, _of course_ , Yakov would go pick Viktor up. But anyone that knew Viktor and Yakov knew that that wasn't a good idea to put two of them together alone when Viktor was going to be a mopey pain and Yakov wasn't going to deal with him being a mopey pain.

(No, Otabek, he didn't miss Viktor. Don't even suggest it.)

It was only two days later that Yuri Plisetsky was standing in an airport, alternating between staring out the window and scrolling through Twitter while he waited for Viktor's plane to land. He was wearing sunglasses and a hat because no fucking way was he letting his fans get the slightest glimpse of him, he was not dealing with that on the same day that he had to deal with a mopey Viktor Nikiforov.

Like normal Viktor wasn't annoying enough. Honestly, it was like the man – "Yurio!"

And there he was. Why was it that the first word that Yuri Plisetsky heard upon Viktor arriving back to Russia was _that_? Why did he insist the ridiculous nickname was the one that he was going to use? After loading his bags into the cab, Yuri crossed his arms over his chest, glaring down at his phone.

 

> to otabek: why does he feel the need to give me so many nicknames?
> 
> to otabek: even with the ones i told him he could use
> 
> to otabek: and my name
> 
> to otabek: he goes with the one katsuki's sister made up
> 
> from otabek: What did he call you before?
> 
> to otabek: yura or yuratchka. we're close enough for them i guess
> 
> to otabek: YOU'RE MISSING THE POINT HERE
> 
> from otabek: What's the Japanese one?
> 
> to otabek: MISSING THE POINT
> 
> to otabek: (it's yurio)

At least there was one thing that Viktor was good at: making Yuri food. Yes, he tried to make small talk, and he complained at least ten times about how much he was going to miss Yuuri, but Yuri didn't care. He could zone him out, eating and going into the guest room (not his room. Not even after Viktor had decorated the counter with a ceramic tiger or managed to find a tiger print blanket for the foot of the bed. Not even when he spent the night here at least once a week. It was the _guest room_ ) to sleep.

Viktor didn't show up to practice the next day, and Yuri rolled his eyes, because the idiot was probably working on cleaning up his apartment (maybe Katsuki moving in would make Viktor get rid of some of his damn knick-knacks. Would Yuuri have a better taste in decorating?). And it was proven that Yuri was absolutely right when halfway through practice, Viktor texted him begging him to come over and help.

 

> to otabek: the asshole is making me help him clean his apartment for his boyfriend
> 
> to otabek: his apartment is a warzone
> 
> to otabek: he's got shit everywhere
> 
> from otabek: Why did you go, then?
> 
> to otabek: yuuri can't come back to this hellhole
> 
> to otabek: and viktor would never finish on his own
> 
> from otabek: So you're doing it for Yuuri?
> 
> to otabek: gross why would i clean viktor's apartment for yuuri
> 
> from otabek: ?
> 
> to otabek: nikiforov offered dinner

(Yuri absolutely would not admit that he had already planned to go before Viktor had bribed him with food. And _of course_ he hadn't agreed to help Yuuri. No matter what he'd said.)

Yuri had never realized what a long time two weeks was. At first, he thought that the two weeks would be fine. Sure, he expected Viktor to whine and cry the whole time about his boyfriend being in Japan, but not _this bad_. The idiot was sympathizing with _Georgi_ , for fuck's sake. Not to mention that he'd sent Yuuri _seventeen_ texts in five minutes. How did he even send that many texts that quickly? None of them were repeats; Viktor had sent his boyfriend _seventeen unique texts_ in fifteen minutes.

Not only that, but after Georgi walked away, he went back to moping, and sent _more texts._ How on earth did he even come up with that many things to say!?

And _then_ , he had to go and whine that Katsuki wasn't answering him, and _that_ was the last straw for Yuri.

 

> to otabek: he keeps whining about how yuuri won't text him back
> 
> to otabek: they have a time difference
> 
> to otabek: bigger than ours
> 
> to otabek: i don't expect you to text back immediately
> 
> from otabek: So what did you do?
> 
> to otabek: i took viktor's phone and now he's moping instead of skating
> 
> from otabek: What if Yuuri texts?
> 
> to otabek: then i'll give him the damn phone
> 
> to otabek: i don't want to read their gross texts

(And he did not pick up his own phone and send a text to Yuuri to request that he _please_ just text Viktor something so that they could have some peace and quiet. He also _definitely_ did not get a text back from Yuuri that promised to do just that, even though that would have been great to rub in Viktor's face, that Katsuki texted Yuri back before he texted Viktor back. Yuuri's text, if that had happened, may have said: _Sorry I've been packing and I knew if I texted him once he wouldn't stop so I've just been deleting the notifications I'll answer him I'm sorry._ )

"YAKOV, WHY DO YOU HATE ME!?" Was the first thing that Yuri heard upon entering the rink exactly twelve days after Viktor had arrived back in Russia, and he wondered if he was allowed to just turn around and never come back. Was there another world class skating coach somewhere in Russia that would take in the Grand Prix champion?

"I don't hate you, Vitya, but you can't just come back to skating and expect not to have meetings. Before you left for Japan, we had them all the time." Oh, shit, it was that argument. He'd overheard Yakov tell Lilia earlier in the week that Viktor had a sponsor meeting scheduled for when Katsuki was set to arrive (he'd also heard Yakov say he did it on purpose so that Viktor wasn't distracted all day).

But apparently Viktor was finally finding out the news. "Yakov, there were so many other days, I've been here for almost two weeks, why does it have to be _then_?"

"I can't change the date." Yakov probably could, Yuri knew, but he also knew that he absolutely would not because Viktor had to learn once again that the world did not revolve around him and his boyfriend.

"Who's going to bring him back to my apartment? He speaks no Russian, he can barely read it, what if he gets _lost forever_ , Yakov? You can't just leave him alone at the airport! I have to go!" Viktor continued to whine, and Yuri rolled his eyes, stretching so that he'd be ready to go onto the rink when it was time (which basically meant when this argument was over).

"Yura is going." Yuri's head snapped up at Yakov's words, and he saw the bright smile on Viktor's face and just scowled.

"Only so the pig doesn't get lost. Don't look so happy, Nikiforov." He scoffed, standing and putting on his skates.

 

> to otabek: he can't even pick katsuki up at the airport himself
> 
> to otabek: he's in some dumb meeting so i have to go
> 
> from otabek: Why do you specifically have to go?
> 
> to otabek: who else would make sure yuuri got home safe?
> 
> to otabek: they better pay for my dinner.

(He would never have admitted to sleeping over at Viktor's house that night if the idiot hadn't posted about it. He demanded that the picture was taken down, but Viktor argued that it was "cute" and he liked it, and thus it would stay. Yuri was just glad that Otabek didn't use Instagram often enough to see it. And even more pissed when he saw JJ had commented something about how cute they were. JJ would pay.)

(Of course, Yuri would also not admit to saving a copy of the picture on his own phone. Why would he do that?)

It took all of two weeks for Yuuri living with Viktor to piss Yuri off. Well, actually, no, that was a lie. It took a single day for them to be annoying, it took two weeks for Yuri to realize that they weren't going to stop being annoying. That didn't stop him from texting Otabek every time they did something especially ridiculous.

For example: Yuuri wearing Viktor's shirt, as far as Yuri could tell. Every day. No, it wasn't once or twice, it wasn't a 'Viktor refused to do laundry so I just stole one of his shirts'. It was a 'today I woke up and dug through my boyfriend's drawer to find a shirt that would fit me instead of just wearing my own clothes like a normal person'.

And it was starting to drive Yuri crazy. Viktor would look at Yuuri all happy, and Yuuri would blush, and it was ridiculous.

(He would not admit that the final thing that set him off was when Katsuki wore a shirt that _Yuri_ had given to Viktor, half as a joke. The shirt itself was black, with tiger print around the hem of the sleeve, and it was the softest thing that Yuri had ever touched. It wasn't really Viktor's style, but he'd worn it a few times because Yuri had given it to him. He would have bought it for himself if they had it in his size. Plus, it was close to Christmas, which was the idiot's birthday, so he bought it. Not because he'd been _trying_ to find Viktor a present or something.)

 

> to otabek: for fuck's sake when is the last time that yuuri wore HIS OWN CLOTHES
> 
> to otabek: they think no one notices but it is not subtle
> 
> from otabek: Just let Viktor have his fun, Yurio.
> 
> to otabek: don't call me that.

(In a later conversation, he _definitely_ did not give permission for Otabek to call him Yura. He _did_ also insist that meant he got to call his friend Beka, though.)

(Yuuri also stopped wearing Viktor's clothes a few days later, and looked relieved. A week later, when Viktor wore the tiger print shirt to practice, all was forgiven. Not that Yuri was upset in the first place or anything.)

"We're going out on Saturday," Viktor said at practice one day, and Yuri glanced up at him, confused.

"You're making me dinner on Saturday." He stared. "Did you forget and invite the pig on a date? Seriously?"

"I just said we're going out on Saturday. Instead of making dinner. To the beach! It will be fun!" Viktor grinned, that stupid grin that made his mouth look like a heart and made him so much more ridiculous than he was to begin with, and Yuri scowled.

"You're taking me to the beach?"

"It'll be fun!" Viktor repeated, clearly not seeing the point that Yuri was trying to make.

"We're going to the beach. With Yuuri. You, your boyfriend, and me." Did Yuuri know about this? If Yuuri knew about this, would he stop Viktor? Probably not, because this was at least the third time that they had dragged him along on their dates. Didn't they want to be _alone_? Couldn't they schedule dates for days that Yuri was _not_ supposed to come over?

(He _could_ just say no, but his plans were made first! They could make their date some other time when they weren't spending time with him, the assholes.)

"Bonding!" Viktor was speaking, and Yuri was mostly ignoring him at this point. "We'll have a picnic, and –"

He kept babbling, and Yuri rolled his eyes, skating away, off of the rink. He was done, anyway. Or close enough. If Yakov tried to yell, would 'Viktor tried to invite me on another one of their dates' be an adequate excuse for why he left the rink?

 

> to otabek: viktor is an idiot.
> 
> from otabek: ?
> 
> to otabek: why the hell are you awake?
> 
> to otabek: whatever.
> 
> to otabek: he keeps making me go on their dates
> 
> from otabek: What?
> 
> to otabek: like when they go out to dinner and shit
> 
> to otabek: they drag me along
> 
> from otabek: Okay?
> 
> to otabek: beka
> 
> to otabek: clearly you don't understand
> 
> to otabek: i've been kidnapped
> 
> from otabek: By Viktor and Yuuri.
> 
> to otabek: we're going to the beach
> 
> to otabek: apparently we're 'bonding'
> 
> to otabek: i don't need to bond with these losers
> 
> from otabek: Have fun.

(He most certainly did not have fun. Though, he did proudly post a picture of a seagull swooping down at Viktor. It was a good picture. Even Yuuri liked it.)

Unfortunately, Viktor also took plenty of pictures every time they went out to "bond" (which meant that they took Yuri on their dates. What was he, their chaperone?). And Viktor thought it was a fabulous idea to post them all on Instagram. Here Yuri thought the worst had come when Viktor posted the picture of him, Yuuri, and the dog asleep on the couch that first night, but it got _worse_. And not only Viktor posted them, but also _Yuuri._ Here he thought Yuuri was at least _sort of_ on his side. More than Viktor, at least.

For example, there was the picture of Yuuri failing to braid Yuri's hair. Or the picture of him holding onto Viktor's arm while they walked (there was a comment from yuri-plisetsky on that one that read _I was trying to show him what way to go so he didn't walk into the damn street_ , but no one listened to him). Oh, and how about the picture of Yuri when he was _tiny_ and clinging to Viktor's arm while they both held up their medals? Where had Viktor even found that picture?

Now, take those and multiply them by about a thousand. Every day, one of the two seemed to post a new ridiculous picture of them together. Where did they even get all of these pictures?

 

> to otabek: he keeps taking pictures of me and yuuri and posting them online
> 
> from otabek: You don't look upset with them in them.
> 
> to otabek: FOR GOD'S SAKE NOT YOU TOO
> 
> to otabek: wait how have you even seen them
> 
> from otabek: I have an Instagram.
> 
> to otabek: you never use it
> 
> from otabek: I never post on it.
> 
> from otabek: There's a difference.

(And, okay, looking back at all of Viktor's pictures, Yuri felt the slightest bit betrayed that Otabek had liked every single one of them. All of them. He was a traitor; he was supposed to be on Yuri's side in this.)

And then the rest of Yuuri's stuff arrived from Japan, and _thank god_ , they didn't ask him to help unpack this time. The first round of stuff, he'd helped Yuuri unpack since Viktor was stuck in that stupid meeting. This time, though, he got spared, which was great, because he _didn't live with Viktor._ He had a room with his own family, and didn't need to help set up Viktor's house every time they needed something new.

Which was why he was horrified to return back to Viktor's apartment and find not only that there was a weird new figure of Viktor ice skating on the coffee table (Katsuki turned bright red when Yuri looked at it, which meant that it was _his_ , which was even worse). He took a picture of it, groaning, and just hoping that was the worst of it.

He should have known better, because he walked into his room (the guest room) and threw his bag on the bed, looking across to see the wall, which was now covered in pictures of Viktor's face. Covered. Not one or two, but probably _at least_ fifteen. Why the hell did Viktor hang them up?

Why the hell did he hang them up in Yuri's room?

 

> to otabek: viktor's disgusting [img attached]
> 
> from otabek: ?
> 
> to otabek: apparently in japan katsuki's bedroom was like a shrine to viktor
> 
> to otabek: and his sister sent his shit to st. petersburg
> 
> to otabek: and rather than BEING A NORMAL PERSON and tossing it immediately in the trash
> 
> to otabek: or burning it or something
> 
> to otabek: viktor hung it up
> 
> to otabek: this is my bedroom wall!!! [img attached]
> 
> to otabek: kill me now
> 
> from otabek: You have a bedroom at Viktor's apartment?
> 
> from otabek: How many posters is that?
> 
> from otabek: How did Yuuri even get that many posters?
> 
> from otabek: Yura?

Yuri had disappeared because he was ripping the posters down. And, no, he didn't ask for permission, but at least he ripped them down _nicely_ , they'd be reusable if Viktor and Yuuri decided they still needed them. Viktor took them from Yuri disapprovingly and disappeared into the guest room again, which just reminded Yuri of _another_ awful thing about Viktor.

While Viktor was busy stashing the posters, Yuri grabbed his phone again and flicked it on, rolling his eyes at Otabek's texts. He waited until Viktor was out before walking back into the room and throwing open the closet door.

At least Viktor kept it _clean_. Sure, it was weird and why couldn't he just get rid of most of these things, but at least it wasn't dusty or disorganized.

 

> to otabek: if you think that's bad, you should see the closet in my room
> 
> to otabek: it's a good thing i keep nothing in there because it's a walk in and it's filled with viktor's dumb knick-knacks
> 
> to otabek: and this isn't even all of them [img attached]
> 
> to otabek: i don't even want to know where the rest are
> 
> to otabek: he probably has a whole apartment full of them or some shit
> 
> from otabek: Why do you have a room at Viktor's apartment?
> 
> to otabek: i don't.
> 
> from otabek: ?

(Rather than get called out on his mistake of referring to the guest room as his room again, Yuri chose to ignore Otabek's text. Because it _wasn't his room_.)

But, oh, no, Viktor's hoarding did not stop with weird knick-knacks.

Yuuri may have been the first one to post about the plate collection, but Yuri knew about it far before then. At least before Yuuri had moved to Russia, Viktor had just one plate he had to wash at any given time, so it was a rare occurrence to show up at the apartment and see a new piece for his dining set. And if Yuri came over, he'd do the dishes (just so Viktor wouldn't whine, not because he liked it. And definitely not because he wanted to thank him for feeding him and letting him stay at his apartment so much).

Even more ridiculous than just Viktor buying the plates was that, _apparently_ , Katsuki thought that it was a good idea to give them as gifts. Which was why Yuri found himself taking a picture of a plate rimmed with tiger stripes, and sending it to Otabek.

 

> to otabek: look at this plate [img attached]
> 
> from otabek: Does it have tiger stripes?
> 
> to otabek: apparently yuuri is trying to get rid of the plates viktor keeps buying and thought of me
> 
> from otabek: That's nice. It looks like one you'd like.
> 
> from otabek: Why do they have so many plates?
> 
> to otabek: because viktor nikiforov is a shameless hoarder
> 
> to otabek: who has too much money
> 
> to otabek: and hates chores
> 
> to otabek: he's disgusting.
> 
> from otabek: So you say.

(No one got to know that plate was used, often. No one. Not a soul. Not until he accidentally posted a picture of it on Instagram. Then they all knew. And Viktor had the guts to _mention it_ to Yuri.)

But if Viktor's style of living wasn't enough, it was his gross obsession with Yuuri that really got to him. _Apparently,_ they had made some deal that Yuuri had to get gold at the Grand Prix Final before they could get married, and Yuri wanted to cry. Their disgusting adherence to the promise nearly made him want to just let Yuuri win and get it over with.

He didn't _let him win_ , though, and was pissed when he _still lost_. At least he beat Viktor, pulling off the silver, and smirking at the bronze medalist (Viktor) below him. Sucks for him. Except that then they had to go and be gross and announce their engagement and upcoming wedding.

At least they didn't spend another year trying to plan it, only taking a few months since everything was basically in order already.

 

> to otabek: why can't they plan their own damn wedding
> 
> to otabek: i'm not either of their best man why do i have to be so involved
> 
> from otabek: Did you want to be their best man?
> 
> to otabek: no.
> 
> to otabek: i just don't get why i still have to do everything
> 
> to otabek: they're even worse than before

Otabek was invited to the wedding (not specifically because he was Yuri's friend, but because Yuri was pretty sure that they had invited every relevant person in the sport. Was that really necessary? Even JJ was invited. It was probably Viktor's idea. Not JJ specifically, but inviting so many people). At least the wedding itself went smoothly (they made Yuri bring their rings up, and he was almost happy for it, because there was a point that Chris and Viktor had conspired to try to make him the equivalent of a _flower girl_ ). But then there was the reception.

When Phichit started to talk about how annoying Yuuri thought Viktor was, Yuri wasn't entirely surprised. He knew that Yuuri had _some_ sense, at least more than Viktor did. But when Viktor stood up and announced that he thought Yuuri was annoying too (even if for _disgusting_ reasons)? Yuri's mouth fell open, and he grabbed his phone off of the table.

 

> to otabek: if they're aware of how annoying they are, why don't they stop?
> 
> to otabek: ugh they literally texted their friends about how annoying they were
> 
> to otabek: this is disgusting
> 
> from otabek: Why are you texting me when I'm sitting right next to you?

**Author's Note:**

> I do have plans for a Chris and/or Phichit section. Or maybe some (more) of the wedding. Idk, if you have ideas, throw them at me. I read every comment <3 Stay tuned. ;)


End file.
